Both Sides of an Introduction

It’s interesting – being someone who matches people up and then has them meet each other. And then hearing both sides of what happened on the introduction!

Client A: “I felt like I was on a job interview – he was grilling me!”
Client B: “I had to keep asking him questions in order to get him to have a conversation.”
***********************************************************************
Client A: “I felt like he was ‘old’ for his age. I’m a much younger-thinking guy.”
Client B: “I felt like he was ‘old’ for his age. I’m a much younger-thinking guy.”
***********************************************************************
Client A: “She clearly enjoys going to the opera, whereas I like softball, so I don’t think it’s gonna work.”
Client B: “I thought she was great! I hope she calls!”
***********************************************************************

We really get to see patterns in our clients, both positive and negative. And it helps us to better match each client next time. What I really find interesting though, is that while we try to get on the right “path” with each member, I think some people forget to look around at the trees while they’re walking. Sometimes we become so focused on what we want, and get so specific with details about our ideal match, that we can’t accept anyone else.

A couple of years ago, I had two clients (we’ll call them Scott and Bob) who ended up meeting each other outside of IGC (in other words, we didn’t set them up). After a few dates that went very well, they discovered that they were both members. Bob expressed some anger at IGC, wondering why I hadn’t set him up with Scott, seeing as they were a great fit and were really enjoying each other’s company. Scott knew why we hadn’t set them up, and finally admitted it to Bob: Bob was out of the age range Scott had requested. They put their memberships on “Hold” for each other shortly thereafter, and last I spoke with them, things were still going strong.

I’ve had a few such instances since then, and now I’m much better about looking off the “path” for my clients. Sometimes I have to twist their arm a bit, but if I feel really strongly about it, then I put forth the effort. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t; but I’d rather have them meet and then know for sure either way, than just assume it wouldn’t work, and never really know.

I had a woman who only wanted to meet women living in the city. Imagine me trying to not only convince her to meet someone who lived outside the city, but who lived in Rockford! She eventually acquiesced, and I sent them out. They exchanged rings back in December 2006.

I had a woman ask me out for a drink the other night. I didn’t ask her if she liked opera, or if she played any sports; I didn’t ask her if she wanted kids, if she read the Wall Street Journal or the Red Eye. I simply said, “Yes!” Who knows what, if anything, will come of it? But one thing (of many!) that my clients have taught me through their own introductions is that it’s never a waste of time to meet someone new. Look at all the possibilities around you; you might be surprised at the tree that catches your eye.