Lately there's been a rash of clients who are doing nothing but whining! It's like I have to twist their arm just to get them to go out! I don't understand - would you just give up if you went on 5 job interviews and were still jobless? Of course not! Would you say, "Well ok, I guess I'm gonna live on the street now." No way! You get back up on the horse and you try, try again. Good grief!! I just don't get it. Clients who came in for their initial interview and were so full of life and good energy and enthusiasm now sound on the phone like they just came from a funeral. Or they're on a heavy dose of Valium.
Look - if I could guarantee you'd meet your life partner thru IGC, we'd have a much different pricing structure. But good grief! Get a grip people! You want to date? You're GOING to date! So get over it, and get on with it!
Friday, July 3, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
You don't have to sue us to get a date
Oh boy do I have a lot to say about this eHarmony/Compatible Partners thing.
For those of you who don't know, eHarmony has been sued a couple of times for discrimination. As best I understand, it has fallen under the state laws that say you can't discriminate against anyone because of their sexual orientation. eHarmony hasn't admitted any wrongdoing, but they have started to allow gays and lesbians to use their site, calling it "Compatible Partners".
For years I've had clients ask me about eHarmony, and why they didn't allow gays and lesbians. eHarmony's stance (I was told) was that they believed a "healthy" relationship existed between a man and a woman (Heidi and Spencer notwithstanding). I just figured eHarmony didn't need or want any more money.
So now, under duress, they've opened up their algorithms to our community, after shunning us for years. They've finally said, "Ooooook, we'll match you up, even though you know we don't agree with your 'lifestyle'." Is this really what my community has been waiting for?
Let's not forget too - that you can be anyone you want to be online. You can be single, outgoing, and funny; you could be a C-level executive instead of a part-time barista at Starbuck's; you could be a straight man who has a deep, abiding, religiously-born desire to bring harm to anyone who would dare label themselves as "gay". Of course, this is true of any online service. You have to be careful.
It's just so different here at In Good Company. People actually ARE who they say they are. Plus, they have to get through me first ;) It's been 5 years for us, and we have yet to have anyone misrepresent themselves (aside from removing a few years from their age - you know who you are! But that's ok - I do too ;) My clients who are HIV+ have told me they are; my prospective clients who are still married to women have told me (even though I couldn't have them join). I also don't think anyone who's dropping the cash for our fees wants to be dishonest - you can lie for a lot cheaper.
It also disturbs me because I think they are going to make a killing, cash-wise. And here we are, taking it day by day in this difficult economy. Where we opened solely for the gay and lesbian community and have kept our focus on that, they have begrudgingly - finally - decided to take our money.
So where will you go, current or prospective IGC client? Will you continue to spend hours online each night, hoping the information you are reading about someone is accurate? Then hoping one of you has the nerve to suggest a meeting? Or will you hire someone to do all that for you - to let you focus on your professional life, while we find great matches for you, give you factual information about them, even set up the introduction in a casual, low-stress environment. That's what In Good Company does for the Chicagoland gay and lesbian community, and what we've been doing since 2005.
Want to date within the gay and lesbian community? You don't have to set a legal precedent; just set an appointment with In Good Company.
For those of you who don't know, eHarmony has been sued a couple of times for discrimination. As best I understand, it has fallen under the state laws that say you can't discriminate against anyone because of their sexual orientation. eHarmony hasn't admitted any wrongdoing, but they have started to allow gays and lesbians to use their site, calling it "Compatible Partners".
For years I've had clients ask me about eHarmony, and why they didn't allow gays and lesbians. eHarmony's stance (I was told) was that they believed a "healthy" relationship existed between a man and a woman (Heidi and Spencer notwithstanding). I just figured eHarmony didn't need or want any more money.
So now, under duress, they've opened up their algorithms to our community, after shunning us for years. They've finally said, "Ooooook, we'll match you up, even though you know we don't agree with your 'lifestyle'." Is this really what my community has been waiting for?
Let's not forget too - that you can be anyone you want to be online. You can be single, outgoing, and funny; you could be a C-level executive instead of a part-time barista at Starbuck's; you could be a straight man who has a deep, abiding, religiously-born desire to bring harm to anyone who would dare label themselves as "gay". Of course, this is true of any online service. You have to be careful.
It's just so different here at In Good Company. People actually ARE who they say they are. Plus, they have to get through me first ;) It's been 5 years for us, and we have yet to have anyone misrepresent themselves (aside from removing a few years from their age - you know who you are! But that's ok - I do too ;) My clients who are HIV+ have told me they are; my prospective clients who are still married to women have told me (even though I couldn't have them join). I also don't think anyone who's dropping the cash for our fees wants to be dishonest - you can lie for a lot cheaper.
It also disturbs me because I think they are going to make a killing, cash-wise. And here we are, taking it day by day in this difficult economy. Where we opened solely for the gay and lesbian community and have kept our focus on that, they have begrudgingly - finally - decided to take our money.
So where will you go, current or prospective IGC client? Will you continue to spend hours online each night, hoping the information you are reading about someone is accurate? Then hoping one of you has the nerve to suggest a meeting? Or will you hire someone to do all that for you - to let you focus on your professional life, while we find great matches for you, give you factual information about them, even set up the introduction in a casual, low-stress environment. That's what In Good Company does for the Chicagoland gay and lesbian community, and what we've been doing since 2005.
Want to date within the gay and lesbian community? You don't have to set a legal precedent; just set an appointment with In Good Company.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Twittering
Ok, ok - so I'm trying to hop on the Twitter bandwagon. I know - I'm way behind in utilizing this (I'm being told "useful") tool in promoting my business. So I'm trying. Trying to think of something useful and insightful to post. I feel like I have all these good ideas but when I go to twitter them (tweet them? twit them? I'm so behind on the lingo, too) I forget. Or they don't sound very profound. Or useful.
Everyone I'm following - Katie Couric, Martha Stewart, Exec Tweets - even Samantha Ronson - seem to have funny, witty, or intelligent posts. My latest? "Must must must create multiple revenue streams!" Well, duh!
Speaking of, IGC is starting to hold workshops on Dating. Advice, best practices, tips, etc. After getting feedback on thousands of introductions, we have compiled some really useful information that needs to get out there - trust me! You wouldn't think you would really need to tell people how to dress appropriately for a first introduction, but apparently - you do! There's a lot more to it though; good questions to ask, how to follow up with pertinent information, even the best way to end the introduction. We have a lot of information and it's time to share it! We will have a special page on our website that gives all the details (as soon as we set a date.)
IGC is also experimenting with different advertising venues. I checked out Facebook advertising...I don't really feel like our clients are hanging out on Facebook every day, but they allow you to target your ideal market, so I gave it a shot. Do you know that after I put it "College grad", "Single", "Looking for Men", and the age range of 35-60 - it said there were fewer than 20 people with this criteria??!! And that was within a 25 mile radius of Chicago! Ok so our clients are NOT on Facebook :)
So I'm off to Twit. Or Twitter. Something creative, something insightful, something gay. We shall see.
Everyone I'm following - Katie Couric, Martha Stewart, Exec Tweets - even Samantha Ronson - seem to have funny, witty, or intelligent posts. My latest? "Must must must create multiple revenue streams!" Well, duh!
Speaking of, IGC is starting to hold workshops on Dating. Advice, best practices, tips, etc. After getting feedback on thousands of introductions, we have compiled some really useful information that needs to get out there - trust me! You wouldn't think you would really need to tell people how to dress appropriately for a first introduction, but apparently - you do! There's a lot more to it though; good questions to ask, how to follow up with pertinent information, even the best way to end the introduction. We have a lot of information and it's time to share it! We will have a special page on our website that gives all the details (as soon as we set a date.)
IGC is also experimenting with different advertising venues. I checked out Facebook advertising...I don't really feel like our clients are hanging out on Facebook every day, but they allow you to target your ideal market, so I gave it a shot. Do you know that after I put it "College grad", "Single", "Looking for Men", and the age range of 35-60 - it said there were fewer than 20 people with this criteria??!! And that was within a 25 mile radius of Chicago! Ok so our clients are NOT on Facebook :)
So I'm off to Twit. Or Twitter. Something creative, something insightful, something gay. We shall see.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
from CNN: Hungry for love? Matchmakers thrive in slump
By A. Pawlowski
CNN
(CNN) -- Everybody's got a hungry heart, but when bad times hit, it can become positively starving.
As layoffs mount, portfolios shrink and headlines become gloomier, many singles may be finding the harsh reality of having no one to lean on during the economic crisis unbearable.
Some are intensifying their search for love, triggering a boom for matchmakers who are putting a modern spin on the ancient practice of bringing people together.
"People shift their focus in times of economic uncertainty to the things that are sustainable and the things that get them through, and I think that always comes down to relationships," said Ann Robbins, founder and CEO of LifeWorks Matchmaking in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.
"People have an absolute need to love and to be loved. That's really, at the end of the day, that's what you have."
Robbins said her number of clients doubled in the first quarter of 2009, compared with the previous quarter. She attributed the rise in part to people re-evaluating their lives during periods of stress and trouble.
Lyle, a 38-year-old financial consultant who lives in New York, became a client about five months ago. (He asked that his last name not be used in this report for privacy reasons.) He reached out to a matchmaker because his busy schedule makes it hard to meet people and online dating didn't feel right for him, he said.
"It always helps to have someone to lean on in life, and it's great to have someone to share great times with, but when times are tough as they are right now, it certainly helps all the more," he said.
'Something to look forward to'
Online matchmaking site eHarmony.com is also seeing increased interest. From September 2008 to January 2009, monthly registrations rose an average of 20 percent, compared with the same time period the prior year, according to eHarmony CEO Greg Waldorf.
Matchmakers aren't surprised they are staying busy during the recession.
"I think that as people go through more difficult times, being alone becomes more difficult," said Patti Novak, owner of Buffalo Niagara Introductions in Buffalo, New York.
"[Even] if they can only afford popcorn and a six-pack on a Saturday night, they'd rather do it with somebody than alone," she added.
Novak, who is the author of "Get Over Yourself!" and starred in the A&E reality series "Confessions of a Matchmaker," has seen a 30 percent increase in clients in the last eight months, she said.
Recent sign-ups include Melissa, a 39-year-old Buffalo, New York, resident who joined the matchmaking service in December. (Melissa asked that her last name not be used in this report for privacy reasons.)
She has since been matched with about seven "really nice people," leading to a number of dates and making it easier to cope with the possibility that her job could be in jeopardy because of the bad economy, Melissa said.
"It actually brings a brighter part to my day to know that I've made an investment for myself that has had great returns already. So it's a very positive feeling and something to look forward to after a very stressful workday," she said.
'Comfort of love'
Mental health experts say turbulent periods can heighten people's need for love and companionship.
"In tough times, you activate your coping mechanisms, and one way to cope is to connect more with people and to get more social support," said Nadine Kaslow, a professor at Emory University School of Medicine and chief psychologist at Grady Health System in Atlanta, Georgia.
Some people looking for emotional support may also be considering the financial benefits of pairing up. One mortgage is easier than two, and a couple can stay afloat even if only one person is working. But Kaslow cautioned singles against rushing into things.
"When people are really stressed, sometimes their judgment isn't as good as it should be," she said. "Sometimes they think something is better than nothing but they don't really think about the pros and cons of the something."
Matchmakers say one of the benefits of their services is that clients are screened so there are no surprises when introductions take place.
"You know already if they've been married -- once, never or 15 times. You know whether they have kids, are smokers, what their religious background is," said Beatrice Gruss, founder of Traditional Matchmakers in Atlanta, Georgia.
About 1,500 independent matchmakers operate in the United States, according to the Matchmaking Institute, which offers training and certification. Most rely on questionnaires, interviews and instinct to get a sense of a client's perfect match. Fees can vary from a few hundred to several thousand dollars, and clients can typically expect a couple of matches a month.
For singles yearning to find love, matchmakers can be of value, but there's no one right way to look for a relationship, experts advised.
"You need to look at who is available in your social world already," Kaslow said.
"I think it's always useful to ask friends and other people to help set you up. But there's a value to these online dating services and there is a value to matchmaking, and I think if you really want a relationship, you try one or more of these options and see what works for you."
*******************************************************************************
I couldn't have said it better myself. Now is a great time to join!!!
CNN
(CNN) -- Everybody's got a hungry heart, but when bad times hit, it can become positively starving.
As layoffs mount, portfolios shrink and headlines become gloomier, many singles may be finding the harsh reality of having no one to lean on during the economic crisis unbearable.
Some are intensifying their search for love, triggering a boom for matchmakers who are putting a modern spin on the ancient practice of bringing people together.
"People shift their focus in times of economic uncertainty to the things that are sustainable and the things that get them through, and I think that always comes down to relationships," said Ann Robbins, founder and CEO of LifeWorks Matchmaking in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.
"People have an absolute need to love and to be loved. That's really, at the end of the day, that's what you have."
Robbins said her number of clients doubled in the first quarter of 2009, compared with the previous quarter. She attributed the rise in part to people re-evaluating their lives during periods of stress and trouble.
Lyle, a 38-year-old financial consultant who lives in New York, became a client about five months ago. (He asked that his last name not be used in this report for privacy reasons.) He reached out to a matchmaker because his busy schedule makes it hard to meet people and online dating didn't feel right for him, he said.
"It always helps to have someone to lean on in life, and it's great to have someone to share great times with, but when times are tough as they are right now, it certainly helps all the more," he said.
'Something to look forward to'
Online matchmaking site eHarmony.com is also seeing increased interest. From September 2008 to January 2009, monthly registrations rose an average of 20 percent, compared with the same time period the prior year, according to eHarmony CEO Greg Waldorf.
Matchmakers aren't surprised they are staying busy during the recession.
"I think that as people go through more difficult times, being alone becomes more difficult," said Patti Novak, owner of Buffalo Niagara Introductions in Buffalo, New York.
"[Even] if they can only afford popcorn and a six-pack on a Saturday night, they'd rather do it with somebody than alone," she added.
Novak, who is the author of "Get Over Yourself!" and starred in the A&E reality series "Confessions of a Matchmaker," has seen a 30 percent increase in clients in the last eight months, she said.
Recent sign-ups include Melissa, a 39-year-old Buffalo, New York, resident who joined the matchmaking service in December. (Melissa asked that her last name not be used in this report for privacy reasons.)
She has since been matched with about seven "really nice people," leading to a number of dates and making it easier to cope with the possibility that her job could be in jeopardy because of the bad economy, Melissa said.
"It actually brings a brighter part to my day to know that I've made an investment for myself that has had great returns already. So it's a very positive feeling and something to look forward to after a very stressful workday," she said.
'Comfort of love'
Mental health experts say turbulent periods can heighten people's need for love and companionship.
"In tough times, you activate your coping mechanisms, and one way to cope is to connect more with people and to get more social support," said Nadine Kaslow, a professor at Emory University School of Medicine and chief psychologist at Grady Health System in Atlanta, Georgia.
Some people looking for emotional support may also be considering the financial benefits of pairing up. One mortgage is easier than two, and a couple can stay afloat even if only one person is working. But Kaslow cautioned singles against rushing into things.
"When people are really stressed, sometimes their judgment isn't as good as it should be," she said. "Sometimes they think something is better than nothing but they don't really think about the pros and cons of the something."
Matchmakers say one of the benefits of their services is that clients are screened so there are no surprises when introductions take place.
"You know already if they've been married -- once, never or 15 times. You know whether they have kids, are smokers, what their religious background is," said Beatrice Gruss, founder of Traditional Matchmakers in Atlanta, Georgia.
About 1,500 independent matchmakers operate in the United States, according to the Matchmaking Institute, which offers training and certification. Most rely on questionnaires, interviews and instinct to get a sense of a client's perfect match. Fees can vary from a few hundred to several thousand dollars, and clients can typically expect a couple of matches a month.
For singles yearning to find love, matchmakers can be of value, but there's no one right way to look for a relationship, experts advised.
"You need to look at who is available in your social world already," Kaslow said.
"I think it's always useful to ask friends and other people to help set you up. But there's a value to these online dating services and there is a value to matchmaking, and I think if you really want a relationship, you try one or more of these options and see what works for you."
*******************************************************************************
I couldn't have said it better myself. Now is a great time to join!!!
Monday, April 13, 2009
Love Is In The Air!
I made some phone calls today to some of my clients that have been on Hold for a while (for those of you that aren't clients - IGC members can put their memberships on "Hold" for up to one year for any reason, although it's usually because they've met someone and want to see how it develops). I got a couple of clients back in the fold and ready to go out (yay!) and two of my clients informed me that they are getting married in October! I was like, "Why didn't anyone let me know???!!!" Although of course I had a huge grin on my face! :)
This has happened on a number of occasions, and while it's always so much fun to hear back from a client with this type of news, I know there are so many more IGC success stories out there. I know this because I hear them through the "grapevine". Let's say I'm at a fundraiser, for example, and someone in our group conversation finds out what I do for a living. He then says, "You introduced my friend to his partner back in 2005, and they're still together!" To which I respond, "Really? That's awesome!"
I was at dinner a few months ago with some friends and acquaintances and one of them said, "You introduced my friend Carol to the love of her life." My response: "I did?"
I wonder what that's all about...it's interesting how some clients come in and they are ready to practically tell the whole world that they've joined In Good Company, whereas other clients don't even tell their closest friends. It doesn't really bother me either way - we treat everyone with the same discretion. But I wonder if some clients don't want others to know HOW they met. Perhaps they feel weird about joining an introduction service? I'm not sure. It's a no-brainer in the straight community - there's a ton of introduction services for them, many that have been in business for over 10 years, if not longer. I think for straight people to join a "dating" service (I hate that term, by the way - we prefer "Introduction" service. After all, we are simply "introducing" clients to each other...) their only hesitation is usually "which one?"
In any case, the fact that there are clients out there who are in lasting relationships because of IGC still makes me smile, even if I might not ever know about all of them.
This has happened on a number of occasions, and while it's always so much fun to hear back from a client with this type of news, I know there are so many more IGC success stories out there. I know this because I hear them through the "grapevine". Let's say I'm at a fundraiser, for example, and someone in our group conversation finds out what I do for a living. He then says, "You introduced my friend to his partner back in 2005, and they're still together!" To which I respond, "Really? That's awesome!"
I was at dinner a few months ago with some friends and acquaintances and one of them said, "You introduced my friend Carol to the love of her life." My response: "I did?"
I wonder what that's all about...it's interesting how some clients come in and they are ready to practically tell the whole world that they've joined In Good Company, whereas other clients don't even tell their closest friends. It doesn't really bother me either way - we treat everyone with the same discretion. But I wonder if some clients don't want others to know HOW they met. Perhaps they feel weird about joining an introduction service? I'm not sure. It's a no-brainer in the straight community - there's a ton of introduction services for them, many that have been in business for over 10 years, if not longer. I think for straight people to join a "dating" service (I hate that term, by the way - we prefer "Introduction" service. After all, we are simply "introducing" clients to each other...) their only hesitation is usually "which one?"
In any case, the fact that there are clients out there who are in lasting relationships because of IGC still makes me smile, even if I might not ever know about all of them.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Welcome to Gay Chicago!
I remember coming up to Chicago back in 2003 - 2004 for improv classes (yes, that's actually why I moved here) and all the times I wanted to go out and try different restaurants. The problem was, I didn't really know anyone here. But because food and I are BFF's, I would walk down the street, find a restaurant that looked good, march inside and sit down to a nice meal and glass of wine all by myself. Now, I can do that; but I know a lot of people who can't, or wouldn't dare. And certainly, I would've rather had company.
So I have an idea that's been rolling around in my head for a few months now, and I'm interested in your opinions about it.
I was thinking about all the gay men and women who travel to Chicago on business, and how I bet it would be nice if they had someone to have dinner with that was also a gay professional. They likely don't know anyone here except their straight colleagues, and they're tired of eating alone in their hotel room. I think it would be great if we could set something up where IGC provides a dinner companion. Not a "date", because the two people live in different cities/states; but someone they could talk to and have a nice dinner with, knowing that the person was educated, intelligent, stable and secure.
It wouldn't cost anything extra for my current clients (the ones who reside in the Chicagoland area) and these dinners wouldn't count towards their introductions.
I would have to be able to interview the out-of-towner in person so my Chicago clients would know that he/she is A-OK. But once I did that, for the rest of the year all the out-of-towner would need to do is call or email us ahead of time, and we can get to work on setting up the dinner(s).
Obviously there's a few kinks to still be worked out, but I feel like it might be a nice service to offer.
Thoughts?
So I have an idea that's been rolling around in my head for a few months now, and I'm interested in your opinions about it.
I was thinking about all the gay men and women who travel to Chicago on business, and how I bet it would be nice if they had someone to have dinner with that was also a gay professional. They likely don't know anyone here except their straight colleagues, and they're tired of eating alone in their hotel room. I think it would be great if we could set something up where IGC provides a dinner companion. Not a "date", because the two people live in different cities/states; but someone they could talk to and have a nice dinner with, knowing that the person was educated, intelligent, stable and secure.
It wouldn't cost anything extra for my current clients (the ones who reside in the Chicagoland area) and these dinners wouldn't count towards their introductions.
I would have to be able to interview the out-of-towner in person so my Chicago clients would know that he/she is A-OK. But once I did that, for the rest of the year all the out-of-towner would need to do is call or email us ahead of time, and we can get to work on setting up the dinner(s).
Obviously there's a few kinks to still be worked out, but I feel like it might be a nice service to offer.
Thoughts?
Thursday, March 12, 2009
I Know Exactly Who You Need To Meet!
It's pretty rare that I meet a potential new client and think, "wow - I don't think I really have anyone for you." The vast majority of the time, I have plenty of people for someone to meet. The BEST though, is when I know EXACTLY who this new client is going to meet. Like, everything they say just points to ONE PERSON. There are a lot of other clients I'll introduce them to, but it's so much fun to have that feeling about one person in particular.
I try not to "oversell" it when that happens - after all, I can't predict chemistry. Sometimes I've introduced them to what I think is their perfect fit, and then both guys come back and say,"hey, nice guy, but no spark." But when I feel that I have the perfect match for them, I think, "I can't believe you guys haven't met each other yet, because you're totally looking for each other!" That is the best feeling in the world! Ok yes, I'm a bit geeky like that - but how could I do this work and not be?
And yes - sometimes that gut feeling is dead-on. The last commitment ceremony I went to was for 2 of my clients, and I specifically remember telling one of them when they joined, "oh I know EXACTLY what you want." They had one match, and that was it!
It also seems to happen mostly for my clients who sign up for a year membership. No - I'm not trying to up sell someone who is still thinking about joining (besides, anyone who's talked to me for 2 minutes can tell I'm a straight-shooter.) I think it has a LOT to do with sending that message to the universe....that this person is SERIOUS about meeting someone, and they aren't going to go about it half-assed. Now of course that doesn't mean that every client who joins is going to meet their life partner; if I could predict that, clients would get one match and we'd charge $10,000!! But I do think it makes a big statement to the universe - "This is what I want, and I'm going to go after it with gusto!" I've seen it happen so many times. Of course, it all goes back to having that positive attitude - but more on that in another post. :)
I try not to "oversell" it when that happens - after all, I can't predict chemistry. Sometimes I've introduced them to what I think is their perfect fit, and then both guys come back and say,"hey, nice guy, but no spark." But when I feel that I have the perfect match for them, I think, "I can't believe you guys haven't met each other yet, because you're totally looking for each other!" That is the best feeling in the world! Ok yes, I'm a bit geeky like that - but how could I do this work and not be?
And yes - sometimes that gut feeling is dead-on. The last commitment ceremony I went to was for 2 of my clients, and I specifically remember telling one of them when they joined, "oh I know EXACTLY what you want." They had one match, and that was it!
It also seems to happen mostly for my clients who sign up for a year membership. No - I'm not trying to up sell someone who is still thinking about joining (besides, anyone who's talked to me for 2 minutes can tell I'm a straight-shooter.) I think it has a LOT to do with sending that message to the universe....that this person is SERIOUS about meeting someone, and they aren't going to go about it half-assed. Now of course that doesn't mean that every client who joins is going to meet their life partner; if I could predict that, clients would get one match and we'd charge $10,000!! But I do think it makes a big statement to the universe - "This is what I want, and I'm going to go after it with gusto!" I've seen it happen so many times. Of course, it all goes back to having that positive attitude - but more on that in another post. :)
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