Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Top 12 Big Dating Turn-Offs: #4


4. Chewing Gum!

Chewing gum in public, especially on a date, is one of the worst things you can do. Why? Because no one looks good chewing gum! It's like a cow chewing its cud. (If you don't know what that is, google it. Then go spit out your gum.)

When you chew gum on a date, it's floating around in your mouth as you talk, and it becomes the only thing your date can focus on. Or you don't even realize you're smacking it! At best, it's impolite in any professional situation. At its worst, you look like a hillbilly.

I had a client who said it best: "Gum chewing, like masturbation, is something best done in the privacy of one's own home, alone."

If you want fresh breath, pop in a mint.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

This Is What It Means To Be An Adult


I knew today was going to be busy. Up at 4am to catch an early morning flight home for my step-grandfather's funeral, most of which I would miss in an effort to get back on a plane to Chicago for my event tonight. Our very first singles event that sold out. Not something that could be rescheduled with such short notice. And after much deliberation, I just felt that I could not miss my event. It was too big of a deal for me to be absent. Of course, the same goes for the funeral.

Therefore, I decided to fly in for the visitation before the funeral. Flight availability meant I would either miss the funeral, or miss my event. There was no way around it. I had made my peace, somewhat, with the fact that I would miss the funeral. I consoled myself with the knowledge that I would still get to see my family, hug those I needed to hug, and pay my respects before flying back to take care of my company.

Except I missed my flight this morning. By about 10 seconds. As I'm running towards the gate (at the very end of the terminal, of course) I see the gate attendant coming out of the jetbridge and the door slamming behind him. He says, unequivocally, "The plane is locked down. You cannot get on." Begging him doesn't make him budge, nor does it bring out even a shred of empathy.

It's not like I overslept. It's not like I was running late. I just misjudged how much time I needed. I gave myself no buffer. So when the security line looked like it does on Thanksgiving, and I was halfway to the gate when I realized I left my bag back at security, it was over. And there's no one to blame but myself. This is what it means to be an adult.

In all the planning that went into this day - the flights, the car service, the arranging of rides, last minute details for tonight - I kept thinking, "Well, this is what it means to be an adult. You have to juggle many things all at once and just make them all happen." I tried to do it all. I really did.

The other day, my friend remarked that it seemed like a lot for one day, and should I perhaps consider missing my event? I said without hesitation: "Work comes first." Now it appears that the universe heard me loud and clear, and gave me what I said I wanted.

Except I'm sick about it. While this is entirely my fault, I do believe that everything happens for a reason. I'm trying to focus on that. Trying to ignore the should've would've could'ves that are peppering my brain. I'm not sure how you juggle work obligations and family obligations. I guess sometimes you are able to do it pretty well, and other times the balls drop.

So this is what it means to be an adult:
*You make mistakes. Sometimes they're really big ones.
*You're in charge of keeping your animals alive, healthy, and safe.
*You pay your bills.
*You keep your home clean.
*You still worry that you'll disappoint your parents, but you do your best anyway.
*You can jump on your bed if you want. You probably don't, but you could.
*You have to keep going, especially after disappointment. There simply is no other alternative.
*You realize that life isn't fair, but you are still blessed beyond what you even know.
*You can eat Nutella out of the jar. Not that I ever have.

Friday, January 7, 2011

The Challenges of a Small Business Owner


Well, I'm sorry to say it's finally happened. After 5 1/2 years and thousands of introductions, we have received our very first chargeback. For those of you who don't know, a chargeback is something you can do when you've put an amount on your credit card and you want your money back. For whatever reason.

Now, in theory, it's a great idea. If you don't feel you've received the services you were promised, you have recourse. I get it.

But for the small business owner, it's a huge blow; both to your business bank account and your pride. I suppose it was bound to happen at some point: the longer you're in business, the more clients you have, the more opportunity there is for letting in a bad apple. I know we deal with the very delicate issue that is people's personal lives. But these factors still don't lessen the impact.

I know the reason it hurts so much is because I'm being accused of something that I'm not. You want to call me a bitch? I own that. Tell me I have issues with control? I totally agree. But accuse me of being dishonest in my work - where the only thing I have is my integrity - and that cuts to the bone.

Does that make me weak? I don't know. I feel like a man, in my position, would just get mad. Or have the ability to blow it off and not worry about it. But I feel persecuted. Insulted. Shocked. I'm ashamed to say I've shed a few tears over it. And I'm ashamed to write that here for all of you to see.

I've given refunds before. We certainly don't make it a habit, but there have been a few times where I realized I cannot fulfill my end of the agreement with a client. And in those instances, we do the right thing. Because it comes down to integrity, and integrity is something you can't buy. When I'm in the wrong, I admit it. To me, that's integrity. But when I'm right - when I'm doing the right thing for my company and protecting my clients - I will stand up and fight anyone or anything that challenges IGC's core values.

I've been reading "Delivering Happiness: A Path to Profits, Passion, and Purpose" by Tony Hsieh, CEO of Zappos.com. He talks about all the stressful times he and his partners went through, and how it taught him many lessons along the way to becoming the billion-dollar operation that Zappos.com is today. It reminds me that In Good Company is here for a purpose. We will continue to face stressful situations, just like any business. But along our journey, lessons will be learned; better judgments made; and hopefully, delusional threats won't offend as much.

Every day that I'm blessed to be able to provide for my clients is another day I learn to be a better businessperson. The groundwork is being laid for the path that I am taking In Good Company on; knowing this dries any tears.

"Everybody has their own private mountain they were put on this earth to climb." Yes, I believe this. And the summit will be SO worth it!